The ENIGMA, revealed. . .

2006-02-03T17:48:00.000-08:00

"There is no right way in doing the wrong thing."

2005-05-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

THE PAGE IS MOMENTARILY UNAVAILABLE.

Postings will resume after the 1st week of July.

Thank you!

Untitled

2005-05-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

It's funny how we often only realize the importance of other people when they are already gone or atleast lost from us. We think of making it up to them after seeing their worth, but what if the right circumstances won't present itself.. what if their absence is permanent?

I often make it a point to show to the people around me that I care. Atleast when I die in the morrow, they know how I feel.

But then again, a lot of people have this difficulty of expressing themselves. That they do care but they don't want to be branded as sentimental fools...

Perhaps, "they were endowed with this personality because they might find it useful in some point of their lives."

'Te... it was very useful for you.

It became your shield when your world turned upside down.

But did it really turned upside down?

We never left you! I for one never treated you differently.

I looked up to you even though you have not been what you should have been for me.

I was forever accepting and understanding. Grateful for the bits and pieces of care that I have been longing for.

Too often I found myself looking at other people, envying from them the things that I have, but never enjoyed.

You were so near yet so far.

I tried to reach you, but too often you shooed me away.

Are we not enough? What is in other people that when you're with them I can see the sparkle in your eyes and the happiness in your lips.

I learned to accept that fact... I never let malice come into the picture.

But have you really love me? Love us?

I don't care.. I LOVE YOU! And that is all I know.

Come back to us!

I will not change and will never change.

I will try to understand... Yes, I will understand.

Never mind those bits and pieces of care that I'm begging from you.

My love is enough to sustain us both.

... In the end you will know that we are your only refuge... No one can be more true...

Every night I plead to God that He will soften your heart and lead you to the familiar path of your childhood.

My heart look forward to your return.

Amame por favor!

2005-05-10T21:25:00.000-07:00

"If a bird fell inlove with a fish, could they live together? Could one fly with fins? Could one remove its wings??? How pathetic! Love can't change what's not meant to be."

Indeed, a quote of a broken hearted.

The last resort to comfort when cupid has turned you down.

LOVE... is to hope, to dream, to trust, to persevere...

It is the manifestation of faith to the originator of love.

It can alter even the most unformidable things.

It makes small things great and great things small.

That is the complexities of love.

But one can easily cross the bridge once it is reached.

What is more difficult and complicated is how to find that bridge.

How to find love and experience its intricacies.

The bliss of true love is euphoric.

And it makes ones life worth living.

Sadly, it doesn't just sprout anywhere.

It is more like a fluid that slips easily out of hand.

No matter how firm is your grip and how patiently you hold on...

wait... wait.....................................

mmm..... I think I'm speaking ironies here...

Yah.. I admit. I'm confused.

hahahaha.. I don't really have the right to talk about this...

haha.. I just wanna let this out.. guess, it overflowed..

LOVE, thou art the enigma from time immemorial.

Reveal thy self and quench my soul. Por pabor!

Love, love, love

You are best defined a mystery.

A MYSTERY untwined and deciphered only by LOVERS.

PROCRASTINATION

2005-05-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

I oftentimes find myself regreting the days I spent idle. Though bumming around also have its own benefits, I can't help but think that I could have been more than what I am now if I have just ceased every moment of my every waking day.

I am fond of making schedules, but I am very poor in sticking to them.

Less than two months to go before our scheduled board exam, but still all I know are Aspirins and Paracetamols. Even the lay people can tell their use. So, it may only mean that I am still good for nothing... and with this lameness, I may not deviate from the misnomer of pharmacists being "glorified sales ladies". Four years of sleepless nights only to be branded as such? It's all up to me I guess.

But then again, changing is not an overnight process. It may take months and years and the right stimulus to trigger that change. Oh! But as I have said, I only have less than two months... and the right stimulus has not yet bolted me up from my Juan Tamad pose...............................

Ladies First Please. . .

2005-04-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

Chivalry, which was most exemplified by the Knights of the Round Table, is regretfully lost from us forever. I, though a very much lady by heart, don't want to be seen as a damsel often in distress. I would always want to proove that men and women have equal ground in almost everything except from the physically endowed strength, which sadly became the basis of the male species' superiority. Elevating the female's status in the society is not tantamount to losing respect and concern for their safety and comfort.

This morning, I went to South Harbor to fetch my father, whom I thought would arrive at about 9. When I reached the port, information were dessiminated that the Ship coming from Davao/Gensan/Cebu will be delayed but will reach Manila at Exactly 12 noon. So, I was to wait for about 3 hours while enduring the heat of the day and the suffocating, unruly crowd. Seats were also provided, but was all taken even before I reached the waiting area. One hour had passed and I feel nauseated. My mind started to blur and my sight was spinning. I have a strong stamina, that though I'm experiencing symptoms of fainting, I'm still sure that I won't black out. All I need, I thought, was a piece of something to sit on and so as to recharge my dwindling body. Unfortunately, I found nothing to improvise into a sitting material. I was desperate. I can see men, able bodied and in their late twenties or so, very comfortable in their self appointed domains. My blood was surging for their apathetic souls. I stand beside a certain man who was also enjoying the great privilege (that's how desperate I am), trying hard to look very exhausted as if on the verge of fainting, but he pretended to sleep which was impossible because of obvious circumstances... And plllllleeeaaaaassssseeee, I was just about 6 inches from his niche!

Truly, long lost are the chivalric days. Where man would do anything to protect their ladies. Where principle and good name are upholded more than personal intentions. Where seats are given up for tired ladies waiting for their father in the sea ports. Wheeww!

An Elegy

2005-04-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

Anger, resentment

Name more of this bitter feelings

I can name none

For the rest reside within my being

Oh Sagittarius!

I was born carrying thy mark

Watch over that unfamiliar bolder

A speck below thy firmament

Oh fearless Pacific!

Be gentle to my heart

When in frenzy or madness, whatever is thy mood

Torment not that which carries my love

Spiteful I should be

Yes! But this feeling is better suppressed

Love. . .

T'was an elixir to every wounded soul

Tarry for a longer while

I cannot. . .

From time immemorial I have tarried

Naked with shame and pride

This life's enigma is foreign to my virgin ideals. .

Emotions. . .

So strange, yet I have embraced. . .

Controlling the beat of my person, my life

Everything I can willingly offer

Just do the asking

Tell it to the mermaids

They'll bring it to me as they have brought the knife to Aeriel

Oh! But the hourglass is empty

I have to leave Babel

Before it will crumble on me!

Tarry for a longer while I cannot. . .

Anger, resentment

Name more of this bitter feelings

I can name none

For the rest reside within my being

Love , pure and true

Thou has left my heart bleeding

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth

Yet mine, t'was the ashes

Oh Sagittarius!

You may hear the moans and the wails

But be deceived not

Tell the pacific, be gentle to that which carries my Love

The Retreat

2005-04-21T04:04:00.000-07:00

The past few months were very exhilarating. Our Toxicology subject made the better out of me. It was so intoxicating that I can still feel the aftermath of that mind, body and soul breaking struggle to attach a "laude" to my plain name.

The desire and frustration crept into my being. To be honored with thus, is the only thing I could give back to the person who sacrificed everything and had laid for me a very promising future. I cannot disappoint her. I prayed countless of times and shed bucket of tears. It was all that mattered for me at that time. Until I lost hope. . . I withdrew from friends and even from my God. I despised myself for becoming one of those fame maggots, but I just cannot help it. I feel very dirty and unworthy. . .

A week before graduation, the relief came as I heard my name mentioned among those who had their student responsibilities well checked and done. Yet, peace of mind was not part of the consolation. . . Until I reset my mind according to the format of Him, from whom all things originated, have I felt the serenity and bliss from the accomplishment.

Infact, no accomplishment, fame and honor is needed to receive those spiritual gifts. A good relationship with the Heavenly Father is the only requirement.

My desire for earthly honor have nearly brought me to my untimely doom. I entirely forgot that "Successes are not measured by achievements and rewards, but by the amount of sacrifices one willingly oblated for the fulfillment of essential or even insignificant tasks."

One thing I'm grateful of, is that God never abandoned me even after I changed colors. My last semester grades turned out to have the highest point grade average compared to my last seven. Wonderful isn't it? My faith wavered, but He had stood firm for me. Indeed, I just have to believe that in the most perilous points of my life, he will carry me.

A lesson well learned for a price long ago paid.

Alas!

2005-04-21T03:19:00.000-07:00

This is some sort of a fulfillment of my-once-but-now-forgotten dream. Now, I have the opportunity to write and publish(kinda) my not-so-good ideas without the criticism of editors-in-chief and away form the scrutinizing eyes of "brilliant" and experienced writers.

Hahaha.... This is the real meaning of freedom!!!